i learn new things everyday

up till now, i HATE people who cheat in the name game of Love. play it fairly. play it honestly. play it with pride. play it with love.

"The world is too fragile for people to be untrue. There is too much at stake and life is too short for lies. You are the worse kind of person in the world cause you wasted my heart."

it started with you, dad. i don't know your part of the story but it seems you left me for another life. i hate people leaving me because it shows that i'm not worth your time. even if it's for a short time we've known each other, i'm still a human. don't you think you did some damage in my life? you didn't even bother to wish me happy birthday. after awhile i've become cold. you don't mean anything to me. and it goes for all of you bastards who think so highly of yourselves that you're wanted by every girl in this whole wide Singapore (it obviously can't be the whole universe. that's crazy!). you just missed out on something great and awesome!

as usual, when i'm bored, i'll browse through things and think about those times.
and lucky for Friendster, i was browsing through my old and DUSTY testimonials from when i first actually this was my 2nd account because babihutan bodoh go and delete my first account just cause i had too many guy friends. andyhoo, it was back in 2004 lah. babihutan was the first to comment but i deleted him off together with his "testimonials".


reading the testis were so freaky okay. hahaa
example:




it just sends chills down my spine okay. haha.

worthy kehape! die cheat on aku siol. bodoh peh jantan! abeh skarang korang bukan best friends lagi kan? hahaha.

I SAYANG ALL MY FRIENDS OKAY?

i just need a good cry.
i feel so tired and worn out that i can't move a muscle (which is a lie because i'm moving my fingers while typing this but you get the idea)

i can't wait for next year when i'll be packing up my stuff and poly memories into a brown box and say goodbye (hopefully because i don't want to repeat any stupid ass modules) to all the projects and assignments. then it'll be 1 year of working life before i take about 6 months off for vacation. :)

that's the plan right now.

and it's not text only :)


i sayang you zaty

aku wish aku ade duit pasal this hoodie is damn ass cute okay! S$ 186.17 on ebay now. sighhhhhh.

i feel so unappreciated like fuck kay.

i stood there for half an hour buying donuts for the family.
once i got home, not only did they forgot to top-up my card despite me reminding them but my dad just had to say this,
"kenape tak bilang siang2? kite dah makan. dah kenyang pon."
"how come never tell us earlier? we've eaten and full already."


FUCK

it may not be such a big deal to anyone of you but i fucking bought 11 bucks worth of donuts and wasted half an hour of my freaking time to buy for you these fucking donuts and this is what you say to me. fuck you really! when i don't buy for you, you say all these stupid things like,
"wah go do your hair but never buy for us food."
or
"beli lah kite makan ker, ape ker?"
"buy lah for us food or something?"


FUCK YOU! FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU!


URGHHH... i'm like freaking crying now lahhh..





don't ask me why i'm so fucking emotional over this ah. it's a sensitive issue. i hate to be unappreciated especially from my own family. so what if i don't help out at the shop? i show my appreciation in small little things by buying you flowers that i know you love or buy you shirts because i know you don't have new one's. GOD! why can't you just accept the fact that i'm not going to help out at the shop?! why can't you just face the fact? doesn't matter how many times you ask. the answer will still be no. i know i sound like some selfless bitch but you have to be in my shoes to judge. i don't want to break the ties between us just because of bad business or you did this wrong or money issues. I HATE IT like how i hate politics in families! why can't we just go by our lives without all these? you guys just don't see the unhappiness i see in your lives every single night you guys argue. FUCK YOU!

if i'm going to hell for this, i fucking don't know what to say. it's freaking unfair. if you can't handle it don't go open a new shop! siape yang nak jaga? abang is only doing this fucking stuff because he's paying the debts he owe you for sending him to SHATEC.



fuck it ah! i don't think this post will make any difference.

wednesday and MOS

we hit MOS again last Wednesday even though both me and kam were broke!
because of D darling who's been bugging to go clubbing this week i bunk at kam's house again. i just couldn't sneak out of the house lah. heh. but no worries D, we still love you even though you buih us.

after planning our finances, me and kam decided to just put our money together and get into a cab. surprise surprise, my pay cam in! wheeee. so yeah, we were so happy and we got ready. we reached MOS at 1.15 am. hahaa super late lah. but all was good.

alot of things happened at SMOOVE. geez, black people are really rowdy. and the chinese girls were freaking scared of them! hahaha. and then this black lady got up in the cage and freaky danced with this black dude. and of course the dude got so high with her. the bouncers had to step in. and they almost got into a fight. me and kam, couldn't be bothered about the guys actually. Main Arena was nonsense yet fun. 80s to the present day man! haha they played Suede, Linkin Park and Guns 'N' Roses. i know right!! hahaha but it was fun non the less.

after an hour and a half in SMOOVE. we decided to go back to Main Arena. by now, they were playing Trance. my cup of tea but i couldn't dance for nuts kay. i was actually having fun but not kam. hahaha. when i looked up, guess who i saw?


babihutan!


hahaha. like got no other people like that. geez. and my reaction was damn funny. i gave him a high 5! hahaha. stupid siahh. and he was mat-ish kay. he wore a black cap with a black shirt and black pants with white pair of MAT shoes. geezz. he was with his friends ah. haha. whatever dude.

we got out when the lights were on for awhile because i didn't want him to see me. we were sitting outside for a smoke and the black lady that did the freaky dance said hi to us. afterwhich i was feeling damn hungry. by this time, the rest of the clubbers were going out of the club. i wanted to avoid him but when i turned around to talked to kam, he was there lighting a ciggie. again we saw each other and this time, i didn't high 5 him. instead i whispered a bye and left.

initially i wanted to leave without saying anything because i wanted him to see me leave him. but what the hey, he saw me having fun alright. :)

kay bye!

pick me.
love me.
hold me.
touch me.
hug me.
kiss me.
take me.




yes? no?
i thought so.

fuck! this is the 3rd entry in a day!!

wow! this song really explains that raihan seh..



nak lyrics?

Im Sorry Goodbye

Sebelum bertemu denganmu
hidupku bahagia
semenjak bertemu denganmu
kumakin bahagia
semakin lama aku smakin
tau tentang engkau
sedikit kecewa
ternyata engkau tak baik

pertama tama semua manis yang engkau berikan
membuat aku merasakan cinta sebenarnya
semakin hari semakin terungkap yang sesungguhnya
kumakin kecewa
ternyata kau penuh dusta

Maafkan ku harus pergi
ku tak suka dengan ini
aku tak bodoh
seperti kekasihmu yang lain

Terima kasih oh tuhan
kau tunjukkan siapa dia
maaf kita putus
so thank you so much
im sorry goodbye

seribu cara kau membuat
ku dengan puitis
maybe kau lupa
bahwa aku juga manusia
yang punya mata
telinga hati dan perasaan
maaf aku pergi
dan takkan untukmu lagi

Maafkan ku harus pergi
ku tak suka dengan ini
aku tak bodoh

ku harus pergi
tak seperti kekasihmu yang lain
Terima kasih oh tuhan
kau tunjukkan siapa dia
maaf kita putus
so thank you so much
im sorry good bye

eh by the way,

last thursday i went to town to meet up with kamisah after school. i really dressed up except that i wore flip flops. after we went around far east, we decided to just walk and see where our legs would take us. so guess who i saw near ex-scotts shopping centre?

babihutan!

how lucky was i to be really pretty on that thursday?! i wore this white top that i absofuckingly love!! and the grey jeans i adore so much and my lucky red flip flops. plus plus my new bag i bought from bigispree. not forgetting my red and pretty hair that i set specially for that day. hahaha.

babihutan was ugly kay. haha. he had this beanie on with golden hair. eeew! and and and he was the one who called out my name because i didn't realise he was that ugly guy! hahaha. kay whatever.

i'm just soo happy because well, i don't know why. maybe cause he finally saw me improving myself? i don't know what went through his mind lah. i'm just happy kay!

kay bye!




and(!!!) that mopping shit about raihan in the past few posts were actually my pre-menstrual syndrome talking. yes, it's true that i was still hurt but i could've handled it waaaaay better than how i did for the past few weeks. yeap yeap.

kay bye!

exams timetable is out!!! geeez, it's drawing nearer and nearer man. sigh..

freaking ass funny okay!!!









i peed in my pants laughing my ass off okay! this guy is awesome!

Friday the 13th was alright.
Nothing bad happened so thank god!
BandzOut was awesome!!

and,

I have PICTURES

51st post!

so to celebrate, lets check out this youtube clip! i like her. even though she's 70 but wow, love her classy sound in this hip song and and, i like the concept! :)

enjoy!

padan muke kau satan!!
padan muke kau, kau nye friendster kene hack!!

what goes around comes around kan kan kan!!

and i know i'm being evil here but what the hey, he sucks big time.


and then you came and confess everything to me now.
tapikan, aku tak tau kalau aku feel the same way as you.
aku selalu anggap kau sebagai kawan aku ah.
but i already made it clear to you what i'm feeling right now.



anyhoo, the red came off!! so sad lahhh :(

new hair.
new colour.
new do.

new life and a new breath of fresh air!


ps: this girl rocks my socks!

THIS CHAPTER OF YOU AND ME
IS FINALLY CLOSED



from this day onwards, you're my friend or more like an acquaintance. thanks for the memories and the treats. you two deserve each other. i guess you guys compliment each other lah. i can't handle rejection and what more the way you treat me now. stop leaving in denial eh. you can't have everyone. you can't have everything. stop being selfish and self-centered.

for some reason, when i smile, it makes my day a little better. i'm beautiful, i'm beautiful, i'm beautiful! i love myself more than i love you.

i feel free-spirited today.
i feel like smiling today despite my feet hurting.

and then the news broke, PN4 might be canceled.
like i had a heart attack and then came back to life.
it was going so well and i didn't know who's fault it was.
it could've been mine.
and it could've been them.
or it could've been those two.

i don't know who but i'm sure not pointing the finger to me. i know that sounds super selfish but yeah. it couldn't be my fault. whatever. it's done. although the date is super stupid ah. sigh.

and regarding you, i don't care anymore. you can't have everybody. i know if you lose me, you won't lose much. but if you lose those girls, you might lose half or more than that of your friendster list, amirite? yeah, heard that reason before and i don't want to handle another babihutan for sure. so bye bye. had an awesome time yesterday, anyway.

die tak carik aku siol.
fine ah.
takpe, aku leh survive tanpa kau.

kau siape siak kepade aku.
thanks eh for everything.